What is vaginismus and how to overcome it

Vaginismus can appear at any time in a woman's life and can have various sources, from sexual trauma, childbirth, or menopause.

But… do you know what vaginismus is?

Vaginismus is the involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles, which causes discomfort during sexual intercourse, and even when using tampons… The pain occurs mainly at the entrance of the vagina, sometimes preventing penetration or even gynecological examinations.

“My body won’t let me have sex” is a common complaint among women. Many women don’t even know this exists until they try—and fail—to have sex once. It is at that point that they may discover they have the disorder.

Feeling pain during your first sexual encounter might be considered normal; after all, aside from the rupture of the hymen, it's usually a tense and nerve-wracking experience for most people. But once that's over, is it normal to continue feeling discomfort? The answer is no.

Many women continue to experience these discomforts, and sometimes, out of fear of what others will say, or even out of shame, they don't talk about it. And that's a mistake!

It's very important to see a gynecologist for tests to identify the possible cause of the pain. In many cases, it could be vaginismus.

Causes of pain during sex

Do you usually think sex is bad?

Are you feeling pain and discomfort and want it to end soon?

Do you think it hasn't been set up correctly?

Do you think you're frigid and can go months without sex?

Or do you feel pleasure, but only when there is no penetration?

If you identify with any of these questions, you may suffer from vaginismus.

Vaginismus is the cause of a considerable number of women who do not enjoy sex, but endure the discomfort because they think that's just how they are and can't do anything to change the situation.

Fear

90% of women with vaginismus report experiencing pain during sexual intercourse

Women who suffer from vaginismus are fully capable of feeling aroused, and have sexual desire, but the problem occurs when, after going through a traumatic experience, they develop an aversion to the act.

Suffering from vaginismus due to psychological issues 

An important step is to try to understand the psychological problems associated with this relationship.

Experts explain that there is a cycle a woman goes through in this process. At first, she is overcome by anxiety and fear, both of the sexual act itself and of the pain it may cause; consequently, the body responds with involuntary contractions in the vagina, making the act painful. 

What happens is that after some traumatic experiences, the body's response is to adopt a defensive posture, and it's at that moment that the lack of desire occurs. It's as if the body itself were saying, "Don't put me there because it's not good for me!"

Lack of affection

Unhappy relationships, or those in which the partner is not patient and attentive during sex, can also cause vaginismus. It is very important to make your partner aware of the importance of foreplay and stimulation before penetration.

Traumas

A woman's history of physical or emotional abuse can make her apprehensive during sexual relations, since penetration is already associated in her mind with pain.

Vaginismus due to family history

A restrictive, repressive, or overprotective upbringing can also contribute to a woman developing this condition, as sex is associated with something bad or forbidden. For some, even a sin.

Physical problems

• Menopause
• Endometriosis
• Vaginal infections
• Myomas
• Intestinal diseases
• Pelvic injury
• Ovarian cyst

The possible physical triggers of vaginismus are endless, so initially it is essential to go to a gynecological consultation to find the best treatment to use.

Vaginismus can be cured! 

The good news is that it's curable. If you suffer from this disorder or know someone who does, seek help. A gynecologist, physiotherapist, and psychologist should work together to overcome the symptoms of vaginismus.

On the other hand, there are exercises that women can do at home, such as buttock exercises, which help in the treatment if done correctly, and Kegel exercises, which work the intimate region of the female body, with the purpose of facilitating penetration.

Using dilators, vibrators, and even stimulating the area with your fingers can be very helpful. Go for it!

However, vaginismus is a condition that can affect any woman. So there's nothing to be ashamed of. It's curable, and the success rates are very encouraging. So there's no point in prolonging the problem. 

Ultimately, the best thing to do is seek help and rediscover the joy of a fulfilling sex life.